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Holding Off for Too Long?

I’m going to begin with a confession: I am having sex. This is a confession not only because I live in fear that somehow, some way, this will make its way to my parents, who are enjoying an idyllic retirement in Colorado, but also because I’m not having the kind of sex you read about in Cosmo where it seems all women are sexual Houdinis. You know what I’m talking about. These women display amazing physical prowess at all times (i.e., sex while in a handstand, while hanging from the ceiling, while riding bareback on a horse) as well as creativity (incorporating the use of foodstuffs, uniforms, and other paraphernalia), enthusiasm (good to go at all times, in all places), and achieve multiple, earth-shattering orgasms.

The thing is, I survived 28 years without sex. Actually, survived is not the correct term. I lived happily for 28 years as a (gasp!) virgin. Because, as my mother pounded into my brain early in life, “nice girls don’t do it, unless they are married.” (See Also: “Men won’t buy the cow if the milk is free,” and, “Balance an aspirin between your knees’ if you want to stay out of trouble.”) Instead, I traveled and built my career. I developed a fondness for hiking and fly fishing.

Yes, being a virgin throughout my 20s was a breeze. It was losing my virginity that proved difficult—not because I didn’t have a man or chose the wrong one, but because, let’s face it: It takes a while to get it right. And in a world pulsing with Cosmo headlines promising “full-body” orgasms and “62 Ways to Drive Him Crazy” (seriously, I just wanted to get through it without nervous-talking), a 20-something fumbling through her first attempts at sex can feel pretty alone. However, 11.4 percent of 20- to 24-year-old women and 4.1 percent of 25- to 29-year-olds had remained pure in one Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study. So while we’re hardly the majority, there are plenty of us around—and plenty more women who are still struggling with the basics. ... click here for more