Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Too Smart, or Too Picky?


We've learned (below) that we modern girls aren't too smart to come, but I think we might be too picky. My friends and I tend to dine and whine, Sex and the City-style, about the generally abysmal state of our love/sex lives. The one exception, of course, is anyone who happens to be in the throes of a new, promising relationship—that time when the sex is fresh and the love is blind. So basically, anyone who isn't right this second falling for someone wonderful is roundly dissatisfied with her romantic predicament.

Study after study has shown that women today are too busy, too achievement-obsessed, too damn tired to get around to having a good sex life. But I postulate that perhaps we need to turn that to our advantage and approach dating the way we approach our careers: We need to become goal-oriented—and, even more important, we need to have realistic expectations. We also need to prioritize: If getting laid is your major goal, I have good news for you—that's an easy one to fix. If what you really want is some conversation, well, get out and mingle, even when you'd rather be home with a bottle of wine and Grey's Anatomy.

The fact is that what most of us really want, though, isn't just sex, or just stimulating conversation, or just that moment when you realize you both live for Battlestar Gallactica AND Panic! at the Disco AND Kerouac. We want all of that, all at once. And the thing is, even if we, quite improbably, find it, a lot of the time things still don't work out. One of you isn't ready yet, or is moving to Prague for a year, or is too ready, or wants to take a break, or wants to get married, or likes The Ghost Whisperer, which is the one thing the other just can't handle.

Are high standards a bad thing? Of course not. But while we're all writhing with dissatisfaction, it's worth noting that audiences used to embrace The Love Boat by the millions; today fans are indignant when Lost or The Sopranos—two well-crafted, layered works of telegenic literature—has an off night. Sometimes you have to enjoy a few episodes of The Love Boat while you're waiting for your Lost to come.

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